What is a good speech topic that is funny and agriculture related?
I need a speech for a contest (sort of pageant) that is agriculture related in any sort of way. It would be great if i could make the audience laugh with it. I am good at writing speeches, just the topic is not where i am strong at. Last year I bored the crowd with a speech about agricultural evolution, interesting but has no humor. I have experience on a farm, if that helps.
If you have any experience with livestock, how about something to do with animal psychology, as in why animals do what they do. You could tell a funny story but relate it to how the animal thinks. I could go on all day on that subject, but here’s a couple.
Studies have shown that sheep have the best memories of all domestic livestock and they are supposed to be able to recognize something like 50-100 different sheep faces for up to two years after last seeing the other animal. Sheep also have a flocking instinct, meaning where one sheep goes, everyone goes. Sheep have also always been prey animals, meaning that if the situation looks dangerous or even suspicious, they are programmed to flee. At least the smart ones do, the dumb ones stand there waiting to see what the commotion is about and get eaten. I had a ram who stuck his head into a bucket, somehow he got the bail over his neck and when he raised his head, the bucket flipped over his head. So here was this animal whose body looked like a sheep, but there was no face for the ewes to recognize, giving them cause for concern. The ram couldn’t see and for him this was in a frightening situation and was blundering around the lot, trying to make his way to the ewes because he knew there was safety in numbers. When the ewes saw this strange, unrecognizable animal coming toward them, instinct told them to run away as a group because there was safety in numbers. So they ran to the other corner of the pen and the ram hearing them run figured there must be something wrong because sheep don’t run away for no reason. Instinct told him to run and join the group because yes, there is safety in numbers. Every time he ran toward the ewes, they ran away, causing the ram to try even harder to join the group, which frightened the ewes even more. By the time it was all said and done, the ewes had torn the lot fence down and were standing in the middle of the pasture while the ram bounced off buildings, posts, trees and everything else in the lot until I was able to remove the bucket. Except for me having to fix fence, this comical situation perfectly illustrated natural survival instincts that sheep have and everyone in the lot, including the ram, were doing exactly as nature programmed them to do.
Or the time we had drought, the pasture was burned up and the best grass on the farm was in the yard. So I fenced off the yard and turned the sheep in. I had come in for lunch and was standing in the kitchen when I saw an old ewe walk around the corner of the house. A couple more sheep saw her and figuring she knew where she was going, decide to follow. A bunch more saw them and assuming they knew where they were going, they figured they’d better follow as well. Pretty soon the entire group (200+) were all going around the corner of the house. The first old ewe had went around all corners of the house and as she rounded the last corner, she spied the tail end of the group ahead of her. Sheep being sheep, she figured she had better follow them because they seemed to know where they were going. I laughed as the entire flock was trotting repeatedly around the house like a merry go round. No one knew where they were going or even why they were going, but the sheep ahead of them seemed to know where they were going and this was good enough reason for them to follow. After they made about 3-4 round trips, one individual sheep showed a little initiative and broke from the group. Another followed suit and within seconds, the entire group had disbanded and went in all different directions on their own personal business. That was an excellent example of herd mentality, something that even people display at times.
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